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divorcing with debt

Submitted by hurting_in_ca on Thu, 2009-05-28 05:36

Divorce - General

I'm so confused. I just recently filed for a legal separation but my husband has told me that he will respond with divorce. We have been trying to come to an agreement as far as dividing assets and debt but have hit a wall. I'm trying to be as fair as possible and am so confused at this point.I have found out that we currently have 30k in debt, which is all in his name. He wants to split our debt 60/40 but is asking that I pay $350 to him every month. I am walking away not asking for spousal support or child support (he'll have her 50% of the time) but after all my bills (rent and living expenses) that leaves me with $20 leftover for the month for the next four years. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm not sure how to handle it. Do I refuse to pay him 350 per month or is it fair and should I accept it?

hurting in ca.....The more

Posted by WearyPeg on Wed, 2009-06-10 14:00

hurting in ca.....The more you give, the more they'll take and then ask for more. I was so timid, wanting to just get out and started letting him have what he wanted, even custody of our son, 4 yrs later, we're still in the divorce process and I'm broke, paid out over $30,000.00!!! and still gong with Lawyer #2. If your spouse's personality is stubborn, greedy, vengeful, resentful, unfair, in any way or in any situation, most likely he will react the same during the divorce and probably worse. And once lawyers get involved, they can heat up a situation, egg a client on, just to make more money from it all. There are web sites to help. Do a search on Women's Divorce, make sure it's for divorce in your state since laws differ. I get advice in NY on a site for Women Abused by Lawyers. And there's another one for Stay at Home Mom's. In NY, any debt is marital, I think you'd have to go to trial, which can be costly, to make him pay for HIS debt. Is the debt on a card just in his name or on a joint card?
Hang in there.....got to get a backbone, you'll need it. You can't have a FAIR divorce unless the other party has the same mindset.